In-Flight Entertainment

Our test crew was headed to USA Speedway in Lakeland this week when they got a stand up comedy routine from the flight attendant on board. (Read these out loud with your best Japanese accent for the full effect...)

1. If you need oxygen during the flight, put the oxygen mask to your mouth and breathe slowly. Don't breathe fast, or you will get high.
2. Your seat is your flotation device. If you need it, rip the cushion off, hug it, and start swimming. You know, swimming is good for you. Good for your whole body. So just swim, swim...
3. If you are going to get sick, use this bag before it’s too late. Then, don’t put it on the floor, because you will step on it. Then, we will all get sick.
4. Don't smoke in the lavatory. You will get busted.
5. We have soda, beer, wine, hard liquor. I have vodka and an orange. I could make you a screwdriver. I will give you time to decide what you want. Then I will come around for your drink order. (We don’t actually serve alcohol on the team planes – this was just his imagination running wild!)