Longest Arm of the Law

Red Bull Racing Team will be sure to walk a straight line during this weekend’s stay in the Valley of the Sun. We wouldn’t want to upset “America’s Toughest Sheriff.”

Joe Arpaio, the sheriff of Maricopa County, is no joke, and he doesn’t mess around when it comes to enforcing the law in the Phoenix area — and that includes Phoenix International Raceway, the site of Sunday’s Nextel Cup race and a place where the moral conscience can take a back seat to debauchery.

At 75 years old, Arpaio treats inmates as harsh as legally possible to drive home the punishment portion of their incarceration. Meals are limited to twice daily, and he even removed salt and pepper. He reinstituted chain gangs, introduced pink underwear that robs men of machismo and erected Tent City — and outside extension of the Maricopa County Jail. On a 110-degree day in Tent City in 2003, Arpaio told complaining inmates, “It’s 120 degrees in Iraq and the soldiers are living in tents and they didn’t commit any crimes, so shut your mouths.”

Contoversial? Maybe. Effective? Certainly. Either way, Arpaio and his Posse are ready to cuff, stuff and severely punish at a moment’s notice. He really does have an all-volunteer Posse, too, responsible for everything from traffic control to chasing down deadbeat dads.

If all goes well in Friday’s qualifying, Red Bull Racing Team’s two drivers, AJ Allmendinger and Brian Vickers, will keep their miles per hour to a minimum during pre-race pace laps because Arpaio, as the honorary pace car driver, will enforce a standard of speed before the green flag waves.